Masks, Migraines, and MPD
by BatNeko
Summary: Link stumbles into another world, with only three days to save it. Let's just say he's not too happy about it...
1. In the Beginning

I do not own the Legend of Zelda, any of the characters, or even a lot of the dialogue! All belongs to Nintendo and Miyamoto-sama.

_Masks, Migraines, and MPD_

This is a semi-sequel to two of my earlier fics, "Time Travel, Drag Kings, and Why I Hate Hormones," and "Heroes, Cross-Dressing, and Why I Hate Hormones." Those two were Ocarina of Time retellings, this is a Majora's Mask retelling, but in the same style and referring back occasionally to those two. Now, I originally planned to leave the "Why I Hate Hormones" tag on this one, but Link is like ten or eleven in this. He doesn't _have _hormones. So I made the title alliterative. Whoo! And don't worry, it'll make more sense later.

Oh, and this story does assume you've played the game, but if you haven't... Meh, it still makes some sense.

Anyway, now I turn it over to Link!

1. In the Beginning...

"In the land of Hyrule, there echoes a legend. A legend held dearly by the Royal Family that tells of a boy... A boy who, after battling evil and saving Hyrule, crept away from that land that had made him a legend... Done with the battles he once waged across time, he embarked on a journey. A secret and personal journey... A journey in search of a beloved and invaluable friend... A friend with whom he parted ways...When he finally fulfilled his heroic destiny and took his place among legends..."

"Huh?" I said. Zelda and I were sitting on my porch, and she had said that out of nowhere.

"Sorry," Zelda smiled. "I was...inspired."

"To recite a legend?"

"Your legend." She smiled and leaned toward me.

"Me!" I exclaimed. "I have a legend?"

"Well duh," she rolled her eyes. "Saving the world, Hero of Time, all that jazz."

"But nobody remembers that. I'm _glad _no one remembers that. And besides, that had nothing to do with a 'beloved and invaluable friend.'"

"No, but your friend the Skull Kid is missing. And you're going to look for him aren't you?"

I nodded. "But that's not a legend. Or a 'secret and personal journey.'"

"It sounded good," she sniffed. "And this totally sounds like the beginning of an adventure."

"Well, at least no one remembers the last adventure, right?"

She said nothing.

"Right?"

"Ah, but you forget." She raised a finger significantly. "You and I are not the only ones sensitive to, you know, stuff."

"Like the whole Ganon thing."

"Right."

"So...wait. _Other people remember it?_"

"Unlikely. But they probably have had dreams. And people who are sensitive to, you know..."

"Stuff."

"Are also often artistic. Creative. _Writers_."

"Ah hell." I slumped forward. "So you think someone wrote a story about me? Us? That whole thing?"

"It's very possible." She looked at me. "Oh come on, cheer up. At least _you _weren't cross-dressing through most of the thing."

"But...I don't want to be famous..."

"You think I _do?"_

"Speaking of which..." I looked back at her. "Don't you have to be getting back to the castle?"

"Technically," she smiled disarmingly, "I shouldn't have left."

I groaned. "Are they going to accuse me of kidnapping you? _Again_?"

"No! Probably not anyway..." She scratched her head. "I'm pretty sure Impa knows you're my friend. She does like you, you know."

"Which is why she glares at me all the time."

"Oh, she's just worried about my maidenhead."

"Your _what_!"

"You _know _what I mean."

"We're ten!"

"You might be eleven by now."

"What does that have to do with anything!"

"Nothing," she smiled again. "I just wanted to change the subject."

I sighed and put my arm around her. "You're a nut Zel."

"You know you love it."

"Yeah...Yeah, I do."

zzz

Zelda did, in fact, get in a whole lot of trouble for running off with me. So much trouble, that the next time I saw her, she said we should just give up on trying to see each other for a while.

"You know I don't want to do this..."

"I know." It hurt just the same.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'll come to see you just as soon as I can."

"'Kay."

"Here." She dug something out of her pocket and haded it to me. "Take this."

I stared at it. "But...this is the Ocarina of Time."

"Yeah." Zel closed my hands around it. "It's not like I'm going to use it for anything, and history has proven it's safer with you."

"I guess..."

"Besides," she smiled. "You can give it back to me some day."

"Okay," I smiled back. "I will."

zzz

I just wish I'd know how long away "some day" was...

zzz

"I'll be back soon Saria," I said. "I just want to find that Skull Kid."

"He's been missing for months Link," she said. "You'll never find him."

"I have to try! He ran away 'cause he thought he didn't have any friends, but I'm his friend and I have to find him."

Saria shook her head. "So you're going to wander the countryside looking for a Skull Kid."

"Basically, yeah."

"Link, that's the worst idea you've had since 'bring the Princess for a visit.'"

"Hey, that was _her _idea!"

"Well, whatever. Have fun on your wild goose chase." She turned and started to go.

"Wait, Saria." I grabbed her and hugged her from behind. "Don't think that just because I have Zelda and am going looking for Skull Kid I've forgotten you."

Saria put her hands over mine. "I know. Sorry I snapped."

"'S'all right." I let her go. "See you in a while, okay?"

"Sure."

zzz

Stupid hindsight. Remembering all this is making me want to hit something.

zzz

After a couple of days and no luck finding Skull Kid, I decided to stop by the Lon Lon Ranch. I had nothing better to do. Seriously.

Malon was happy to see me; of course, that girl's always happy, but she also wanted to show off.

"Epona's gotten so big!" she squealed. "And you should see how fast she can go! She's so obedient and she-"

"Can I borrow her?"

Malon blinked.

I smiled.

"What?"

"Can I borrow her?" I said it slowly this time.

"No."

"Aw, why not?"

"Because," she smiled and handed me the reins. "Why borrow her when you can _have _her?"

"Malon!" I fought the urge to hug her. "You mean that!"

"Sure. I mean, I love her, but you love her too. And I know she loves you. So take her."

"You're the best Malon!" I hugged Epona's neck instead of her. "This means a lot."

"Yeah, well..." she shuffled her feet nervously. "Link, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what?"

"Well...see...there's this story that's been going around. About, um, a hero...named Link."

I felt my eye twitch involuntarily. "Uh, how weird."

"Yeah... They say he traveled through time and saved Hyrule, and after it was all over no one remembered it."

"If no one remembered it, how come there's a story?"

Malon blinked. "I didn't think of that. How weird."

"See? When you examine these things too closely they just fall apart."

"Yeah, I guess you're right... Cool story though."

"If you like that sort of thing."

"Oh I do," Malon sighed happily. "Heroes and princesses, and sometimes ordinary girls who turn out to be princesses."

"You want to be a princess Malon?" I laughed.

"Sure, doesn't every girl?"

"I know one who doesn't," I said, thoughtfully.

"Really?" She seemed shocked at the very idea. "Who?"

"Just this girl." I put my hand in my pocket and touched the Ocarina of Time.

"Do I know her?"

I tried to think of how to answer that. "You know _of _her."

"That girl who's like your sister?"

I winced at the thought. "No."

"Who then?"

For no real reason, I decided to tell her the truth. "Princess Zelda."

"What!" She gaped at me. "You _know _Princess Zelda!"

"I _love _Princess Zelda," I corrected.

She stared at me. "You...what?"

"I am in love with Princess Zelda," I said carefully.

Malon's eyes were huge with shock. "You're...serious?"

"Uh-huh."

"How _old _are you?"

I shrugged. "Ten or eleven."

"You're not sure?"

"No."

"Well you're...ten or eleven years old...and you think you're in _love_!"

"I know I am." I smiled and shrugged again. "You wouldn't understand. Me and Zel, we went through a lot. And we're so...right for each other. We just...click. Mesh. Perfectly."

"You sound pathetic," Malon snapped.

"Sorry." I looked at her. "What's your problem anyway?"

"You. You're like a lovesick puppy," she snorted. "Ridiculous."

"Well it's not my fault."

"Isn't it?" She glared at me. "Heroes always fall for princesses."

I gulped. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"That story."

"It was just a story!"

"Then how did you meet Princess Zelda?"

I opened my mouth to answer, then realized I had nothing to say. "Uh..."

"Look, I'm not going to take Epona back...but I'm upset you didn't tell me."

"I haven't told _anyone_." I realized what I'd said. "I mean, uh, there's nothing to tell."

"Right." She started back toward the stable. "See you later Link."

"Yeah...later..." I looked at Epona. She looked back. I sighed. "Come on girl," I said. "Let's get going."


	2. Lost

2. Lost

Epona and I made our way through the Lost Woods, me lost in thought. It seemed like every time I told someone about Zelda they got...huffy. First Saria, then Malon. Was it something I said? Was it the fact that she was a princess? Or was it...the fact that she wasn't them?

Ew.

Unfortunately, while that was going on in my head, I hadn't been paying much attention to where we were going. Epona and I were now thoroughly lost.

In the Lost Woods.

"Great, now we're gonna die," I muttered.

I tried to keep calm, so Epona wouldn't panic, but I had absolutely no idea where we were. I've probably spent a lot more time in the Lost Woods than most sane people, and I'd thought I was familiar enough with it to manage. But I didn't recognize this place at all.

Well, they call it the Lost Woods for a reason.

As we got further and further into the woods, I recognized less and less. I was actually starting to think this wasn't the Lost Woods at all.

I started to panic. I raced Epona through the unfamiliar trees, zigzagging at unsafe speeds. (Hey, that rhymed!) I thought I heard a sound, turned to look, but suddenly Epona screamed and threw me to the ground.

I felt a sharp pain, and everything went dark...

I awoke what seemed to be only a short time later.

"Hey, Skull Kid, let me play!" said a shrill little voice.

"No way, you'd drop it and break it!" another voice said, then laughed.

I got to my feet, slowly, and looked around. A couple of fairies were making odd ringing sounds and trying to get the attention of a strange Skull Kid in a freaky mask who was _playing the Ocarina of Time_!

"What the hell!" I exclaimed. The Skull Kid turned with a jump, noticing me. He looked down at the Ocarina, and quickly hid it behind his back.

Furious, I lunged at the Skull Kid, but he leapt over my head onto Epona, who I hadn't noticed before, and took off. I grabbed onto the Skull Kid's leg as he galloped past, and he dragged me off through the forest.

It wasn't easy, holding onto his leg like that, and just before the Skull Kid reached a log tunnel, I fell off. The Skull Kid continued, and scrambled to my feet and followed. But I didn't have a clue where I was going. I didn't have enough time to stop myself as I plunged off a cliff into darkness.

There seemed to be odd symbols floating around as I fell.

I landed on a big plant in the middle of a pool of water. Floating alongside his two fairies, the Skull Kid looked down at me and said, "What's with that stupid horse of yours? It doesn't listen to a word that's said to it... There's no point in riding a thing like that, so I did you a favor and got rid of it."

I gasped and the Skull Kid laughed. "Aww, boo-hoo. Why the sad face? I just thought I would have a little fun with you..."

I gritted my teeth and drew my sword, saying, "What the hell are you-"

And then things got weird. I felt, I don't know, floaty. And then all these Deku Scrubs surrounded me. I tried to run, but a giant Deku Scrub that followed me and...

I woke up. I felt...odd. Not bad, but...different. Something was off. I put my hand up to my head, to try and regain my balance, or whatever it was that was off, but then I noticed. My hand was wood. My head was huge.

I was a frickin' Deku Scrub.

I screamed. Well what else was I gonna do?

The Skull kid was laughing his head off. "Now, that's a good look for you!" He trailed off into laughter for a moment, then managed to say, "You'll stay here looking that way forever."

"No!" I cried, pausing only for a moment at the sound of my own voice. The Skull kid was starting to float away, toward a doorway. "No!" I cried again. I started to run after him, but the white fairy bobbed up in front of me, to stop me from following.

She laughed and started taunting me, not seeming to noticed that the Skull Kid and her darker companion were leaving. The dark one stopped, noticing she was missing at the last moment, but it was too late.

The door slammed shut.

The fairy whirled around.

"Whoa! Whoa! Skull Kid, wait for me! I'm still here! Tael, you can't leave without me!"

"Too late Jingle Belle," I said smugly. "You just got ditched."

"You!" she flew over to me angrily. "If I wasn't dealing with you, I wouldn't have gotten separated from my brother!"

Brother? I was surprised. I didn't know fairies had brothers.

"Well, don't just sit there, Deku Boy! Do something!"

I glared at her. She'd made fun of me, and let her friend turn me into a Deku Scrub. And she wanted my _help_?

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Why do you think?

"What, is there something stuck on my face?"

Fairies have faces?

"Will you stop staring and just open that door for me?"

I kept right on staring.

"Please! C'mon, a helpless, little girl is asking you... So hurry up!"

Helpless? She sounded downright bossy to me.

"Ohhhh, Tael... I wonder if that child will be all right on his own?" She sounded genuinely worried that time.

The fairy flew over to the door and I got to my feet.

So. I was a Scrub.

Crap. Crap, crap, crap on a crap-stick.

My sword was gone, but with a little experimentation I found I could swing my hood...hat...thing, and cut grass the same way I could with my sword. That was something, right?

Finally, I gave up and went to the door. Oddly enough, I had no trouble opening it. Why had the Skull Kid thought that would trap me?

I left the cave without so much as a glance at the fairy, but she followed me.

"Hey, wait for me! Don't leave me behind!"

I sighed and stopped walking. Wasn't like I knew where I was going anyway.

"So, um... That stuff back there... I...um...apologize, so... So take me with you! You wanna know about that Skull Kid who just ran off, right? Well, I just so happen to have an idea of where he might be going. Take me with you and I'll help you out. Deal? Please?"

I didn't say anything. I didn't really know what to say.

But the fairy apparently took it as a yes. "Good! So then it's settled! Now then, I'll be your partner.. or at least until we catch that Skull Kid..." She paused for a moment, then continued, "My name is Tatl. So, uh, it's nice to meet you or whatever. Now that we've got that all straightened out, can we stop messing around and get moving? If I figure something out, I'll tell it to you. Hopefully, you'll manage to get by without my help until then!"

What else could I do? Besides, without Epona I didn't have a single living creature around that I knew.

So me and Tatl went off together, and I realized that this was the beginning of a whole new adventure.

Dammit.


	3. Bad Moon Rising

3. Bad Moon Rising...

"So, um, where the hell are we anyway?" I asked.

Tatl did a fairy shrug. "Woods or something. Who cares?"

"What's that thing?" I pointed. It was a giant pink flower.

"Sheesh, are you a Scrub or aren't you?"

"Well I am _now_," I snapped.

"Oh...right. Um, that's, like, one of those Deku Flowers that Scrubs can use to uh...bounce...or something..."

I stared at her. "You really don't know anything at all, do you?"

"Well I'm not a Scrub!"

"I'm not one either!"

"Look, just jump in the stupid flower and it'll spit you out up into the air! We can get out that way."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Well this sucked so far. I walked forward warily, eyeing the flower. "So...is this thing gonna eat me or something?"

"Yes, fine, whatever. Just do it."

Since I had no better ideas, I hopped into the flower.

Immediately the petals closed around me, and tightened. It felt like I was _really _being eaten. Just before I started screaming, the flower spat me up in the air, really freaking high, and for a moment I hung there...

Then I came crashing to earth near a door. "Owww..."

"Should have rolled when you landed," Tatl advised me.

I told her to do something that was probably anatomically impossible for fairies, and she responded in kind.

I ignored her and went through the door. Another cave-ish room, with a bunch of bunch of platform pillars with those Deku Flowers on them. Hopping from flower to flower was still weird, but it was like a bit like running on ice. If you stop you're going to fall, so you just have to keep going.

Then I crash-landed on the last ledge. I stumbled to my feet, groaning. Tatl, ignoring me, bobbed over to a decrepit little tree. "Check this out," she said, "It's strange, but the way you look right now sort of looks like this tree. It looks all dark and gloomy...almost like it could start crying any second now... How sad..."

The fact was that I _felt _like I could start crying any second now, but I didn't need her pointing it out. So I glared and moved forward.

Something was...off, again. I walked through something very weird, that I probably should have examined before I walked through it. But once I was through it I found myself in a surprisingly normal-looking corridor. Except for the sounds of machinery from up ahead. Like...a giant clock.

We came to the end of the corridor.

"Woah," Tatl said, "a giant clock."

"Wow," I agreed. "Ooh, stairs."

We headed up (when did I start thinking of Tatl and me as "we?") the stairs alongside the waterwheel and all the clock machinery. I wasn't sure where the stairs went, but I didn't see any other way out. Unless that pool of water led somewhere. But I had the feeling I couldn't swim. What with being wood and all.

We got to the top and I was about to open the door, when there was a sound behind us. I turned quickly, preparing for battle. Then stopped.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, naturally surprised. It was the Happy Mask Salesman. He was carrying a huge pack on his back, full of masks, and looking at me oddly.

"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?" he said. "I own the Happy Mask Shop. I travel far and wide in search of masks..."

Odd, why was he explaining this to me? He must not have recognized me.

"During my travels, a very important mask was stolen from me by an imp in the woods. So here I am at a loss..."

Imp, huh? That sounded familiar.

"And now I've found you." He laughed. "Now don't think me rude, but I have been following you..."

"What?"

"...For I know of a way to return you to your former self."

"Oh, okay then."

"If you can get back the precious item that was stolen from you, I will return you to normal. In exchange, all I ask is that you also get back my precious mask that the imp stole from me."

"Well..." That Skull Kid was psycho. I wasn't sure if I could wrestle the mask away from him in this body.

"What?" the Happy Mask Salesman said. "Is it not a simple task? Why, to someone like you, it should by no means be a difficult task."

Flattery will get you everywhere. And I _had _saved Hyrule... "Okay, I'll do it."

"Except...The one thing is...I'm a very busy fellow...And I must leave this place in three days. I would be grateful if you could bring it back to me before my time here is up..."

I shifted my weight nervously.

"But yes...You'll be fine. I see you are young and have tremendous courage. I'm sure you'll find it right away."

"Well...yeah, maybe... Sure."

"Well then, I am counting on you."

"'Kay."

We left the clock tower, and I found myself in a town. A big town. Full of people.

I felt horribly self-conscious, for pretty much the first time in my life. Though I'd never much paid attention to it, I knew I was a good-looking kid. I was used to being treated as one. Now I was a Scrub. And I couldn't even bite my lip to stop myself from crying.

But I swallowed a couple times and fought down the urge. "He gives me the creeps!" Tatl exclaimed. "That mask salesman was the..."

I stared at her.

She noticed. "Sorry...just thinking aloud. But three days? Even if we never sleep, that still leaves us with a measly 72 hours! Talk about demanding." She sighed. Then looked at me. "Well, don't just stand there! We're going to see the Great Fairy!"

"The...the Great Fairy?" I shuddered. Great Fairies always creeped me out.

"Look, you wanna find the Skull Kid, don't you?" Tatl snapped. "The Great Fairy will know what he's up to. She watches over everything. And just between you and me, the Skull Kid is no match for the Great Fairy. Go to the shrine near the North Gate. You'll find the Great Fairy in there."

I sighed. More people were going to see me. "So where's the North Gate?"

"Um, north?" She rolled in the air, which is the fairy equivalent of rolling one's eyes.

"Well which way's north?"

"Just follow me." She led me around the clock tower, past one opening, and through another.

More town. More people. Whoo.

I tried not to make eye contact with anyone, and just followed Tatl. She led me to the back of the area, to a ledge. The ledge led up to a cave. Inside the cave...was the Great Fairy's Fountain.

"Oh no! The Great Fairy!" Tatl shrieked. She zoomed forward and I followed at a run.

"Oh...wow. Bad."

The Great Fairy was not the freaky-looking nearly-naked woman with the mad-serial-killer laugh that I was used to and afraid of. Instead there were a bunch of weird fairy-like bunny heads floating around.

They/it/them turned to me and said, "Young one! Please hear my plea! I have been broken and shattered to pieces by the masked Skull Kid. Please find the Stray Fairy lost in town, and bring her to this Fairy Fountain."

"That Skull Kid has gone too far!" Tatl raged. "We can't just let this happen! Quick! We have to find the Stray Fairy and return the Great Fairy to normal!"

"Right!" I turned and dashed off.

Tattl bobbed up behind me. "Do you even know where you're going?"

"Uh...no."

"So you're just running off without thinking."

"It always worked before."

"Before? You've done this before?"

"Kinda."

"Listen Deku Boy, I don't know who you think you are-"

"Link."

"Huh?"

I stopped running and turned to her. "My name is Link."

"Link?"

"Yeah."

"Oh..." She bobbed thoughtfully. "That...sounds familiar."

"Oh _goddess_!" I exclaimed. "If that story has gotten here..."

"Story? What story?"

"No story. There is no story and there never was."

Tatl looked at me. "If we were in a raft I'd swear you'd been drinking seawater."

"What's seawater?" (I'd spent most of my life in the forest, remember? And Hyrule is land-locked)

"Salt water. From the sea."

"What's a sea?"

"You know, like halfway between a lake and an ocean."

"What's an ocean?"

"The biggest possible body of water ever."

"Oh."

"Why the hell did I just answer all those questions like that?" Tatl asked incredulously.

I shrugged. "If you ask a dumb enough question fast enough, people usually answer before they think about it."

"O...kay... You're insane aren't you?"

"No one's proven that." I scanned the town. "So where would a lost fairy go?"

"You think I know? Because that is racial stereotyping."

"I'm just thinking out loud. Sheesh."

I wandered back to the front of the Clock Tower and looked around. The only thing I could really think of to do was wander around and look. It was a plan at least. Sorta.

There was something very strange about Clock Town, aside from the fact that it was named Clock Town. It was a little after dawn, so the streets were mostly empty, but what people there were looked oddly familiar. Like people I knew.

But they were different. Slight differences in ages, different jobs... I hadn't moved through time again, had I?

No, I was pretty sure I hadn't. So where the hell was I?

Everyone mostly shooed me away and told me to find my parents, but there was one Deku guy who was friendly.

"I've already sold out of my wares, and the carnival hasn't even begun," he said happily. "I'm thinking of closing up shop so I can buy a gift for my wife and return to her in my village! I've heard that a stone called the Moon's Tear shines brighter than any other in the land, my wife would love it!"

"Hey, if I find one you'll be the first to know," I said.

"You mean it? That'd be great! If you give it to me, I'll give you my spot here, Deku Flower included!"

I promised and kept up my search.

I eventually came across some steps that led to a somewhat concealed opening that led to a big pool of water with a couple of laundry scrubber thingies leaning against the wall.

There was something moving in the shadows on the other side of the pool. I still wasn't sure I could swim though.

"Tatl, can Deku Scrubs swim?"

"Hell if I know. Why don't you try?"

"What if I drown?"

Tatl just looked at me.

"Glowing little..."

"Love you too. Now go drown."

I looked at the water. My reflection looked back. Goddess, I really _did _look sad.

I took a deep breath, and leapt into the water.

I was right, I couldn't swim, but I could skip across the water like a stone.

I reached the other side of the pool out of breath and a little freaked, but okay.

It looked just like the freaky little things in the Fountain, so I approached. "Hi there little, um, thingie."

"Please, hear my plea! The masked Skull Kid has broken me apart and scattered my pieces! Please find a way to return me to the Fairy Fountain in North Clock Town."

Great Fairies talk funny.

For some reason the way she was talking sent a pang through me, almost like physical pain. It reminded me of something, but...what?

"No problem," I said, trying to ignore that gonna-cry feeling again. "Just stick close to me and it'll be fine."

The fairy-thingie followed me back across the pool and all the way back to the Fountain.

Once we got there, the pieces of the Great Fairy swirled together and formed back into the big go-go booted leopard-skinned Great Fairy I had come to know and fear. Goodie.

"Tatl, and you, young one of the altered shape... Thank you for returning my broken and shattered body to normal. I am the Great Fairy of Magic. I thought that masked child was helping me, and I grew careless. All I can offer you now is this: I shall grant you Magic Power as a sign of my gratitude. Please accept it!"

Kick-ass! I can do magic again! But...what kind of magic can Scrubs do?

"The man who lives in the observatory just outside of town may know of the Skull Kid's whereabouts. But be careful! You must not underestimate that child's powers. Kind young one, if ever you are returned to your former shape, come see me. I shall give you something to aid you."

"'Kay."

There was one good thing about being a Deku Scrub, at least I wasn't unwillingly attracted to the Great Fairy.

"The Great Fairy said the astronomer knows the Skull Kid," Tatl said. "Hurry! We need to find a way to get out of town and to the observatory!"

"Well how am I supposed to do that?"

"Beats me. Ask somebody."

I sighed. There was a boy in a red bandanna nearby, shooting darts at a balloon. I tried to get his attention, but he was having none of it.

"Whaddya want, shrimp?" he snapped. "I'm busy practicing with my blowgun! If you can't pop that balloon, then don't mess with Jim!" Then he growled at me. Really.

I moved on.

Clock Town turned out to be pretty freakin' huge. It was divided by compass sections, and there were gates out in each side. The guards, however, wouldn't let me out. They said it was too dangerous for a little kid like me to go alone, and told me to go find my parents.

Honestly! I never had people telling me to find my parents back in Hyrule. Maybe that was why I had never missed having them.

Over in East Clock Town I found a kid in a blue bandanna who was willing to talk. He was sort of rude though. That's kids for ya.

"What's with you?" he asked. "You're wearing a weird hat for a Deku! Did you come to town to play? I bet nobody will play with you, right?" He smiled happily over having figured it out. "The adults are all busy getting ready for the carnival," he sighed. "The old astronomer at the observatory outside town is the only one who'll spend any time playing with us kids. We Bombers have our hideout at the observatory. You have to take a secret route to get to it." He stopped abruptly. "Oh! Don't be telling Jim that I told you that!"

_Jim, huh_? I thought. "Don't worry," I said. "I won't."

I headed north.

Jim was still practicing with his blowgun, even though it was now close to noon. I figured the best way to get his attention was to do in his balloon, so I focused on it, gathered my magic, and let loose with...bubbles? Whatever.

"Waugh!" Jim exclaimed. He'd apparently been so focused on the balloon that he hadn't even seen me. He looked around and finally saw me. "Are you the one who just popped that up there? Not bad for a Deku Scrub!"

"Heh, thanks," I would have grinned sheepishly if I could. "Listen, I need directions. Do you know how to get to the observatory?"

"We Bombers have a hideout that leads to the observatory," he grinned proudly. "You need a code to get in. Maybe I'll tell you what it is!"

"Really?"

"Psych! Don't think you're getting it that easily! I can't just tell you what the code is, you have to pass my test first."

"What...kind of test?"

He just grinned broader. "Are you ready?"

I shrugged. "What the hell."

"All right! Line up, guys!"

Out of nowhere, four boys in blue bandannas popped up and grinned at me.

"If you can find all five of us by tomorrow morning, I'll teach you the code," he gestured at his buddies. "Are you ready?"

"Hide and seek?" I asked incredulously.

"Yup."

I shrugged again. "Go for it."

"Scatter!" Jim shouted. And they did.

I won't bore you with the details, really, it's boring, but I found all five boys in only six hours. What can I say? They're really good at hide and seek. Tatl wasn't too forgiving about it though.

"Oh, why do we have to play these stupid brats' little games? C'mon! Hurry up and find them already!"

I ignored her. _I'm _good at ignoring fairies.

Two of the boys were nearby in North Clock Town. They weren't too tough, though it still took awhile. One of them was in West Clock Town, slightly more trouble. The toughest two were in East Clock Town. One of them was on the thatched roof next to the Stock Pot Inn. He ran when he saw me and I had to use a Deku Flower to chase him down. The last one was holding onto a cucco on another roof. He also jumped down as soon as he saw me.

I didn't want to be chasing kids all around Clock Town, but at least I got a good feel for the place as I did. Nothing helps you commit a town to memory like hide and seek.

"You're pretty good for a Deku Scrub!" Jim grinned reluctantly. "If only you were human... Then I could give you an original Bombers' Notebook and make you a member..." He turned to his buddies. "What do you guys think?"

"No way! No Scrubs!" they chorused.

"I guess not..." Now his grim was apologetic. "Once, we let some kid who wasn't human join our gang, and, boy, did we ever regret it! Sorry! But I'll teach you the code, just like I promised. I can tell you only once, though, so pay close attention! Are you ready?"

"For the last time yes!"

He told me the code. "The entrance to our hideout is in East Clock Town."

"Thanks...I guess."

It was now evening, but I didn't want to waste time. Other than grabbing a bite to eat on the way, I didn't stop once until I got to the observatory.

It was pretty cool actually. Plenty of telescopes and sciencey things that I didn't know the uses for. The only really odd thing was that the old guy in there looked just like the old guy from the lag by Lake Hylia. But it wasn't him. Looked like him, but wasn't.

Termina is weird.

"Well, yours is a face I'm not used to seeing," the old guy smiled at me. "Are you here to do something for me? I am Shikashi, professor of astronomy."

"Actually, I came for information."

"Ah, you've come to learn!" he smiled happily.

"Well...sort of..."

"Come, come, look here." He ushered me over to the biggest telescope, brimming with so much excitement that I couldn't disappoint him. "I have been enamored with the moon since I was a child. Now, I spend my days gazing at it from here. The moon has long been considered a mystical body, which people have worshiped and feared. That alone shows how the moon has a cosmic influence that affects our daily lives." He paused thoughtfully. "But lately, there is something quite strange with the moon. Strange, indeed... It seems as though the moon is being pulled down by something and is slowly drawing closer."

I stared at him. He was crazy, he had to be. The moon couldn't really be getting closer. That was...crazy.

"So, will you gaze into the telescope?"

I nodded and he moved aside so I could look. The first thing I did was look around until I found the moon, and then...

"Holy crap!" I exclaimed.

"I see," the professor sighed.

The Termina moon had a face. Not just any face, oh no. A giant, scary, _evil-looking _face with glowing red eyes and huge yellow teeth and a mad expression like it wanted to destroy us all. And it was huge. I could believe it was getting closer.

I couldn't look any more. I stepped away from the telescope.

"Well...could you see it?" the Prof asked sadly. "It already may be impossible to stop its descent...All I can do is accept what the cosmos has designed to be the destiny for me and this planet."

"No way!" I exclaimed. "You can't assume that it's your destiny to die! Especially when that moon has been so _obviously _screwed with!" (Okay, so I used a stronger word than "screwed," but I'm trying to beat Zel and keep my story PG-13. Or is it Teen now?)

The Prof blinked. "Are you a new friend of the Bombers gang?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Hmmm...Your manners seem much better than those of your mischievous friend from the other day." He laughed and I smiled inwardly. You never know how adults are going to react to profanity.

"What mischievous friend?" I asked.

"That ill-mannered troublemaker from the other day," the Prof sighed. "He said he'd break my instruments...He said he'd steal my Moon's Tear... There was no stopping him. Even now! Just watch him! He's probably causing trouble around the clock tower."

I turned back to the telescope and looked. The clock tower was just a little bit below the moon, and there seemed to be a figure moving around on top of it.

I zoomed in. Sure enough, it was that crazy Skull Kid. He was dancing around or something, wildly. He gestured sharply in the air, and, instinctively, I pointed the telescope up. Back at the moon.

Something fell from one of the mad red eyes. I t looked like a tear...but could evil inanimate objects cry? Whatever it was, it fell to the ground with a hug boom, near the observatory somewhere.

I stepped back again.

"Well, did you find that troublemaker?" the Prof asked. "And that loud noise...What was that? Perhaps another Moon's Tear has fallen nearby..." he said curiously. "Go and take a look outside." The Prof gestured toward the upper door.

"But I wonder how that troublemaker got on top of the clock tower?" he said thoughtfully. "The only way up there is through the clock door, and that opens only on the eve of the carnival. What could that troublemaker be doing atop the clock tower? I just hope he's not plotting another one of his no-good tricks..."

"Yeah, I hope so too..."

Searching around outside, I soon found a big tear-shaped rock. It was pretty enough, I suppose, but that sort of thing has never interested me.

"Come on, let's go!"

"Go?" I repeated.

"Don't you remember that Deku Scrub who wanted the Moon's Tear? Don't tell me you forgot..."

"I didn't forget...It just doesn't seem important."

"That flower on his land, it was right near the clock tower!"

"Um, so?"

"_Goddess _you're dense. Think about it. We need to get to Skull Kid. Skull Kid is on top of the clock tower. The door to the clock tower is really high up, plus it opens only once a year, at midnight on the eve of the carnival. Skull Kid is...well...he has ways. But you need to find a way up there! Like the flower!"

"You really think I can get all the way to the top of that clock tower by being spat out of a flower?"

"Hells yeah! Let's go!"

I shrugged. "Best idea you've had so far."

"Yeah! Wait...should I be insulted?"

"I honestly don't know."

That Deku Scrub guy was sure happy to have to Moon's Tear.

"Ah! That stone! You must hand it over to me! In exchange, I'll give you my spot here...Deku Flower included! Yes? You really helped me out! Now I have the perfect souvenir for my wife! She hasn't set eyes on a jewel or strange, sparkling stone like this in a very long time. The Title Deed for this spot should be in high demand among Deku Scrubs, but you already know that. If you don't need it anymore, you can always sell it!"

Then he dashed off

I peered at the flower. "You sure about this?"

"No."

"I'm asking around then."

"Aww..."

There were carpenters working on something nearby. When I asked, one of them told me it was the bridge up to the tower entrance. I'm not sure why the door couldn't just be at ground level, but I suppose that would be too easy.

"It'll be finished in two days," the carpenter told me. "Just in time for the carnival."

"See," I told Tatl as we walked away. "No need for the flower. Those guys are building a bridge."

"I still say the flower thing is a good idea."

"You just think it's funny to see me get eaten by a plant."

"True. Doesn't mean it wouldn't work."

"Come on, I need to find a place to sleep."

"Sleep is for the weak!"

"We have _two days _to kill, there is no reason I can't sleep."

"Pfft, that's loser talk."

"What is your _problem _Tatl?" I snapped. "Why do you act like this?"

"I'm bossy."

"I noticed."


	4. The Good, the Bad

4. The Good, the Bad...

Two days. We waited around for _two whole days_. There was nothing to do but wander around, listen to rumors, and watch the moon get closer and closer. People started leaving, fleeing to some ranch outside of town. But I wasn't leaving. No way. I had to get to Skull Kid, and I wasn't going to risk being gone when the door opened. I missed my height, my mouth, recognizing my reflection...no _way _I was going to miss my shot.

So I hung around, slept under a bench, and waited.

On the third day, nearly everyone was gone. Including the carpenters.

I stared at the partially-completed tower-bridge-thing.

"Hey, Deku kid," the head carpenter greeted me. "You waitin' for us to finish the bridge from the festival tower to the clock tower entrance up there?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry," he shrugged. "My apprentices panicked and ran away, so this is all we get for a festival tower. It's not quite tall enough, is it? Sheesh!" He shook his head. "Even if we went to the top of the festival tower, we wouldn't be able to get up to the clock tower entrance. I apologize for all this. I wish I could scare that moon away!"

"Aren't you afraid?" I asked.

"Me?" he snorted. "I ain't afraid of nothing. If the moon was gonna fall, it would have _done _it by now."

"You don't think it's going to fall?"

"Moons don't fall."

I looked up at the glowering face in the sky. "I wish I had your confidence."

"And I wish I had your youth." He clapped me on the shoulder. "We're even kid."

"Guess so."

The fireworks went off as scheduled at midnight. I didn't notice at first, lost in thought, and Tatl had to remind me.

"Did you hear those fireworks? I think the clock tower door has just opened!"

I knew she had to be good for something. Everyone is.

Sure enough, the tower wasn't tall enough and I couldn't reach the door. But Tatl's idea about the Deku Flower worked, and soon I was inside.

The moon was huge and menacing, and getting closer every second. I knew I didn't have much time.

We reached to top of the tower to see the Skull Kid and Tatl's dark-hued brother silhouetted against the moon.

"Sis!" the purple fairy exclaimed.

"Ah! Tael! We've been looking for you two," Tatl said, surprisingly calmly. "Hey, Skull Kid, what if you gave that mask you're wearing back now?" Skull Kid said nothing, staring at the moon. "Hey, c'mon, are you listening?"

Tael glanced at Skull Kid, then turned back to us. "Swamp. Mountain. Ocean. Canyon. Hurry...The four who are there...Bring them here..."

Skull Kid turned. "Don't speak out of line! Stupid fairy!" he smacked the little fairy several times, hard.

"No! What are you doing to my brother?" Tatl screamed. "Skull Kid, do you still think you're our friend after that?"

"Well, whatever," Skull Kid said, completely ignoring her. "Even if they were to come now, they wouldn't be able to handle me..." He giggled. "Just look above you..." he gestured to the ominous moon. "If it's something that can be stopped, then just try to stop it!"

"Tael! Get away from the Skull Kid!" Tatl ordered. "You'll be hit!"

Skull Kid laughed and smacked her brother again.

Tatl was trembling with rage. "I've had enough...You hit my brother over and over... I'll never forgive you!"

I wanted to draw my sword more than anything, but I couldn't, so I gathered my magic instead.

"That won't do you any good," Skull Kid laughed. The moon was drawing even closer now.

"Why are you just standing around!" Tatl shouted at me. "Th-there's no time. You've gotta do something now!"

"I am!" I charged at the Skull Kid and he dodged, still laughing.

"Oh, come now...Do you really think you can beat me as I am now? Fool!"

I shot a stream of bubbles at him, and he was so busy laughing at me that I hit him. Skull Kid yelped and jumped away, and he dropped something.

Almost stunned, I walked over to the object and picked it up. The Ocarina of Time, though it turned to pipes in my hands. I barely heard Tatl as she flew up to me.

"Huh? When did you get that instrument?

"Zelda..." I heard myself say. I could almost hear her voice.

"You are already leaving this land of Hyrule, aren't you?" she seemed to say. "Even though it was only a short time, I feel like I've known you forever. I'll never forget the days we spent together in Hyrule... And I believe in my heart that a day will come when I shall meet you again... Until that day comes, please...take this..."

The Ocarina. It meant so much between us. Especially after all that had happened because of it.

"I am praying...I am praying that your journey be a safe one. If something should happen to you, remember this song..."

The Song of Time. The first song she had ever taught me.

"The Goddess of Time is protecting you. If you play the Song of Time, she will aid you..."

I saw Zelda's smile, and was not surprised to feel tears spring up in my eyes.

How could I almost have forgotten her? Damn my wooden skull!

"Snap out of it!" Tatl shouted. "What are you doing lost in memories? Get yourself together! Getting that old ocarina back isn't gonna help us!"

"The Goddess of Time will," I said. Then I help the pipes up to my mouth and blew.

The Song of Time. That familiar-but-never-missed warping sensation. I knew what had happened, but I didn't know what to do.

"W-What just happened!" Tatl exclaimed. "Everything has..." She looked around. "...started over..."

She turned to me. "Wha...What are you, anyway? That song you played...That instrument..." She did a double-take. "That instrument! Wait! That's it! Your instrument! The mask salesman said that if you got back the precious thing that was stolen from you, he could return you to normal! Did you completely forget or what?"

"_No _I didn't _forget_," I snapped. "Let's go!"

We ran all the way back to where the Happy Mask Salesman waited, looking creepy as ever.

"Were you able to recover your precious item from that imp?" he asked.

I brandished it.

"Oh! Oh! Ohhh!" He started freaking. "You got it! You got it! You got it! You got it! Then listen to me. Please play this song that I am about to perform, and remember it well...This is a melody that heals evil magic and troubled spirits, turning them into masks. I am sure it will be of assistance to you in the future."

He played a song then, a soothing melody, and I followed along. And then...

It felt like a costume was being lifted off of me, but the costume had soaked into my skin and had to be pulled out. But it came off safely, and I was myself again!

"Whoo!" I couldn't help shouting, throwing my completely human hands in the air. It felt sooo good to be back to normal.

"Ah, yes. I give you this mask in commemoration of this day." He handed me a mask that looked like a sad little Deku kid. Like me, as a Deku Scrub. "Fear not, for the magic has been sealed inside the mask. When you wear it, you will transform into the shape you just were. When you remove it, you will return to normal."

"Wow, cool. Thanks." I couldn't really think of anything else to say.

"Now, I have fulfilled my promise to you...So, please, give me that which you promised me..."

"Uh..."

"Don't tell me..." He stared at me. "My mask...You did...get it back...Didn't you?"

"Not...exactly..."

"What have you done to me!" he screamed. "If you leave my mask out there, something terrible will happen!"

"What could be so bad about it?"

"The mask that was stolen from me is called Majora's Mask. It is an accursed item from legend that is said to have been used by an ancient tribe in its hexing rituals. It is said that an evil and wicked power is bestowed upon the one who wears that mask. According to legend...the troubles caused by Majora's Mask were so great... the ancient ones, fearing such catastrophe, sealed the mask in shadow forever, preventing its misuse. But now, that tribe from the legend has vanished, so no one really knows the true nature of the mask's power..." He looked up at the top of the Clock Tower. "...But I feel it. I went to great lengths to get that legendary mask. When I finally had it...I could sense the doom of a dark omen brewing. It was that unwelcome feeling that makes your hair stand on end. And now...that imp has it..." He turned back to me. "I am begging you! You must get that mask back quickly or something horrible will happen!"

"Like the moon falling?" I sighed. "Yeah, okay, I'll do it."

"I'm counting on you."

"I know..."

Tatl followed me outside. "Feeling better?"

"Sort of..."

"That mask..." she said. "The Skull Kid uses the power of that mask to do those terrible things. Well...whatever it takes, we've gotta do something about it."

"You're right."

"The swamp, mountains, ocean and canyon that Tael was trying to tell us about... I bet he was referring to the four areas just outside town. There's one in each compass direction. But what do you suppose he meant by 'the four who are there?' I have no idea. He always skips important stuff. I guess we should just go and find out..."

"I guess."

"If we go through that gate straight ahead, we'll be heading in the direction of the swamp."

"Kay."

"Where are you going?"

"The inn. I'm gonna see if I can get a room."

"Why!"

"I need to regroup, okay?"

"Oh...Okay."

I hadn't spent much time in the Stock Pot Inn in during the previous three days, so I wasn't sure if it was all booked up or anything. There were some people hanging around inside, but not too many, so I approached the front desk.

"Hi there," the woman (who looked exactly like that cucco-lady from Kakariko) smiled distractedly at me. "Welcome to the Stock Pot Inn. How may I help you?"

"I'd like a room please."

"All righty, what's your name?"

"Link."

She flipped open a large notebook. "Link, ah yes. You're in the Knife Room."

"I...am?"

"Second room on your right," she handed me a key. "Enjoy your stay!"

"Uh, thanks?"

I headed up the stairs. "Did that seem odd to you?" I asked Tatl.

"How so?"

"That lady-"

"Anju."

"Whatever. She acted like she was expecting me."

"Maybe, um, you go back in time even further and make a reservation! Like, years in the future!"

I stared at her. "You read too much."

"Do not."

"Then you listen to too many stories."

She was silent for a moment. "Shut up."

The room was small, with a big crack in one wall, but it had a bed and that was enough. I flopped onto it and buried my face in the pillow.

"Liiiiink..." Tatl whined. "Come ooooon... You've got to save the woooorld..."

"It's not the world," I mumbled. "It's Clock Town."

"Are- are you crying?"

"Yes. Yes I am." And I was too. Not _sobbing_, but there were tears.

"Oh..." She settled on the nightstand. "Why?"

"Because. I almost forgot Zel. And I think I've forgotten a bunch of other stuff too."

"Who's Zel?"

"She's my... We're... I'm... I don't know what to call her, but I _love _her dammit!"

"Woah. You're serious."

"Damn straight."

"How _old _are you?"

"Why do people keep asking me that?"

"You don't often meet kids who say they're in love. And mean it. Most boys your age think girls are icky."

"I'm...older that I look."

"So you're like...thirteen?"

"No, I'm probably eleven."

"Probably?"

"It's a long story. Basically, I've had a hard life. And Zel's been through some stuff too."

"Oh. Are you done crying yet?"

"Will you _please _shut up?"

"Fine! But you suck!"

I sighed. "Look...Just give me a few minutes, okay? I'm homesick and lonely. I'm allowed to be sad."

"Are you allowed to cry? I thought boys didn't cry."

"There aren't rules about crying."

"Do you need a hug?" She teased.

"Yes, but you don't have arms."

"Oh...right."

Blissful, blissful silence for a couple of minutes.

"I'm gonna go eavesdrop, okay?"

"Yes, fine, whatever."

She left.

And came back thirty minutes later.

"Let's go!"

"All right."

"What, really?"

"Yes, really." The best way to break out of a funk, I've found, is to throw yourself into an activity. In this case, saving Clock Town and stopping Skull Kid.

Tatl led me to the south gate, where the guard stopped me.

"Stop right there! Have you some errand in the swamp? It is dangerous outside the town walls, so I cannot allow a child like you to-"

I drew my sword and pointed it at his crotch.

"A sword?" He gulped.

"Damn right it's a sword!"

"My apologies, sir," He backed up involuntarily. "It was wrong of me to treat you like a child. The southern swamp at Woodfall lies in this direction. Be careful."

"Whatever."

"_Goddess_, Link," Tatl said, once he was out of earshot. "You didn't have to _threaten _the man. He was concerned for your safety."

"I am _missing _chunks of my _memory,_" I said through clenched teeth."I do not _care _right now, okay?"

"Okay, sheesh."

"So..." I looked around. "Where we going?"

"The swamp. In the south. Where the Deku Kingdom is."

"Deku Kingdom?"

"Duh."

"Okay..."

"What makes you think you're missing chunks of your memory anyway?"

I pulled out the Ocarina and fingered it. "I...can't remember some songs. Songs I _know _I knew. Like when you forget someone's name, but you can remember having know it, having called them by it, but can't remember it."

"I hate that."

"So do I." I stared at the Ocarina. "I can't remember Epona's Song..."

"Epona's Song?"

"The song I use..._used_...to call my horse."

"Ooh...bad."

"Yeah."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Author notes

Urg...don't expect an update for a while. The Woodfall temple is...urg. It will be a long chapter when I get it done. But there's work. And fatigue. And my fictionpress account (TheNinjitsuSister) that still has no stories...urg. And fanfictiondotnet seems to hate letting me on late at night. Which is when I update. Because I put it off until the last minute. Because I suck.

Sorry for ranting at you guys. I _will _update as soon as I can. And I do love you people. :sob-because-it's-midnight-and-I-can't-update-when-I'm-writing-this:>


	5. The Ugly IC

5. The Ugly.

Ah, a field. Fields are good. I'd missed fields. This one was smaller than Hyrule Field, and had different plants, but it was comforting nonetheless.

The swamp was south, I wasn't sure how far, and since Tatl was being quiet for once I didn't want to ask. We walked a ways in silence, and before I knew it I could smell something. Something...unpleasant.

"Fetid," Tatl said, seeming to have read my mind. "I so rarely get to use that word, but I say it applies here."

"Is that the _swamp_?" I exclaimed. "It smells like rotten...rotten...rot!"

"Yeah, it kinda does doesn't it?"

"Should swamps smell like that?"

"No, not normally. Oh!" She flew over to a tree we were just passing. It had childish carvings all over the trunk.

"I remember this!" she said. "Tael and I drew this with the Skull Kid when we first met him..." She was silent for a moment, staring at the drawings. They did look like Skull Kid and a couple of fairies. They seemed to be having fun.

"He told us that he had been fighting with his friends and that they had left him all alone," Tatl said softly. "I'm sure it was because he was always playing tricks, so nobody wanted to play with him. But to do what he did just because of that... And once he got his power..." She trailed off.

"Now who's lost in memories?" I asked smugly.

"Come on, let's go."

Though the stench as we got closer to the swamp naturally grew stronger, I also grew used to it. It still stunk, but I could stand it.

The swamp was...a swamp. What can I say? It was green, slimy, and full of bugs. The water looked distinctly unhealthy, even more than I'd thought it would.

"So, uh, is this normal?" I asked.

"I don't think so. The water looks all...funky."

"Then I am sure as hell not swimming in it."

"I didn't expect you to. Hey, look! I think there's a raft or something!" She flew over to a ladder. "Come on!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I muttered.

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Author's note:

It has occurred to me that I suck at this, so I'm breaking it off here for now and will be starting a new story. Hopefully if I work on _The Legend of Zeld_ for awhile (I have the first three chapters _done _and ready for posting, so no worries for awhile) I'll get back into the swing of things and can finish this. I really hate to do this to you, but you know how it is, don't you?

If it's any consolation, I like _The Legend of Zeld_. It's classic Zelda, with a twist! But...because it's classic Zelda, it's not that funny. Yet. It does get funny later, when Zeld is being uncooperative, and I do like the young Gerudo King (oops, spoiler). Anyway, _please don't hate me!_


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